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[Sunday 1 September / 12:24am]
Screw you, secrecy. The new username is unitedhotcake. Check it out.
I can play Cavanaugh Park.
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i'm going to hell. [Saturday 31 August / 5:19pm]

i am ...


according to the rebelsnail.net assessment. how jesus are you?

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[Friday 30 August / 9:50pm]
[ mood | calm . disheartened ]

I generally write some long and meaningful thing at the end of summer - about how I've grown up or what I've realized or what I think I'll remember.. maybe what I want to remember. This year, I haven't done that. The only thing I can think of is:
Dave Matthews. Camping. Hating GSA. Hating myself. Wishing I were alone all the time. Camping.

I think I will start my new journal tonight. I'm sure I'll keep this one up as well, but I don't think it will be as personal. Sort of like K.Kay.. her idea was good.. if you want the name, comment and leave your IM, if I don't know it.

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[Tuesday 27 August / 10:33pm]
[ mood | sleepy-sore ]

Tonight I found out that my mother will be gone for an unknown amount of time. Probably all of fall.
A good thing, in most regards.
But who will drive me around?

I have a green notebook.

Tonight Brian came to my soccer game. He makes me happy. He doesn't know it, but I winked at him twice. I played ok. I did some good things. We won nonetheless.

So much is expected of me. I feel like a tire.

Will I miss my mother? I hope her car stays. I might miss dinner. I guess I'll have to learn to cook.

Sometimes I get online just to sign off.

.. you are my sunshine, my only sunshine ..

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[Tuesday 27 August / 2:32pm]
Holy Hell. I could have sworn I made an entry yesterday..
I adore my classes. Every single one. Even math is not so bad..
Tonight is the season opener. Poca. Already nervous..

Prioritizing this year.
Will. Not. Fail.

camping pictures, finally! fuck a lot of that shit.Collapse )
Not enough for you?
how about my TRADING CARD?!Collapse )
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[Wednesday 21 August / 11:04am]
[ mood | empowered ]

Yesterday at the game I hurt my knee again. I am very sick of doing that.
I made this unbelievable mixtape for before games though. Holy shit.
check it out.Collapse )
Also, I got to thinking last night. I hate the way that the American public is expected to function solely based on how other people perceive them. I hate the way everything is so influenced by outside opinions. I also hate the way girls are bombarded with images of beauty and expected to look exactly like that.
Fuck all that.
That's the reason I was unhappy.. because I'm not 110 pounds, I'm not the perfect image of beauty.
And I'm fine with that.
Because that's me.

I think that's all a big joke. Maybe if I tell myself that enough, I will believe it.

School. Will be horrible. Alienated everyone. Be exactly like me, think like I do, dress like I do, hate the world. Then you can talk to me. Otherwise, you're not angsty enough for me.
Take your pretty face, your American Eagle, your superficiality and shove it up your ass. You'll learn.
Or will I be the one who learns?

dreamed again.Collapse )

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[Monday 19 August / 1:39pm]
[ mood | bodacious ]

I had the weirdest dream EVER last night.
read about it.. if you dare.Collapse )
There are so many things that I could be doing. I almost feel like cleaning my room. Or writing my essay.
I read Storming Heaven over the weekend. I loved it. Surprisingly. Upsettingly. Because I will have nothing about which to complain on the first day of school.
One week.
Camping on Wednesday. With Brian.
I have a secret admirer.
I should call and find a ride to practice.
I. Hate. Nair. I keep a bottle on my desk just to look at it and think about how much I hate it. Damn you, Raspberry Raz-ma-tazz. You burn. You should be called Raspberry Rash-My-Ass.
Instead of doing one of the aforementioned constructive things, I'm going to go lay on my bed and listen to some music. Feeling okay.
Feeling sort of icky, cause I have eaten a lot today.
Feeling thirsty.
Feeling anxious.
Feeling like I want to wear my shamrock hat out somewhere.
Feeling like I should do something exotic tonight.

Practice, practice, scrimmage tomorrow. Catholic. I will hurt somebody, mark my words. Hopefully not myself.
I feel like buying a paid account just to say I have one.
It would be possible to have an infinite number of codes. You'd just have to have a lot of journals.
Even DeadJournal has codes now.
My god, I can't believe I wrote all of that.


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[Sunday 18 August / 9:59pm]

according to the "if i were hated by emily" test, i am...

air freshener.

Entirely. Too. Much. Free. Time.

(new picture!)
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[Sunday 18 August / 5:23pm]
[ mood | ug.ly ]

Move on. Start over. Let go.
Too late, again...

Got back from camping today. Pictures (low quality, yes, but I do the best I can with my poor digital camera) hereCollapse )

... and I thought I was finally okay ...

// take all of your tiny wishes, dump them all overboard with me tonight ... //

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